{"id":512,"date":"2012-10-23T11:21:06","date_gmt":"2012-10-23T11:21:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/?p=512"},"modified":"2026-02-21T09:03:28","modified_gmt":"2026-02-21T09:03:28","slug":"bluffers-guide-to-canals-talking-like-a-hairy-boater","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/bluffers-guide-to-canals-talking-like-a-hairy-boater\/512","title":{"rendered":"Bluffers Guide to Canals – talking like a hairy boater"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"HolidayHere’s 10 things\u00a0NOT to shout on your canal holiday if you want people to think you are a real hairy canal boater! Plus some useful canal words to use to\u00a0impress the rest of your crew!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"1\" “Is this called a barge or a longboat?” – Neither, it’s probably a narrowboat but just call it a ‘boat’, unless it’s about 14 foot wide (barge) or you are on the River Severn or in a Norwegian fjord. (longboat). (And in London it could be a\u00a0monkeyboat!)<\/p>\n

\"2\"“You cycle up the canal ahead of us and open the lock doors.” – You are ‘lockwheeling’ up the ‘cut’ to ‘set locks’, or even ‘hobbling’.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"3\"\"Bluffers<\/a>“Throw me that piece of rope to tie up in this lock.” – It’s a ‘line’ or ‘strap’ and real boaters don’t tie in locks, they hold the ‘fore end’ against the gates with the engine, but it does take practice!<\/p>\n

\"4\" “Oh dash, our back rope seems to be twisted round the propellor.” – Probably your stern strap is around the ‘fan’, or ‘blades’. Good reason not to use ropes in locks, or was it hanging decoratively off your tiller pin?<\/p>\n

\"5\"“The engine’s stopped, wind the valves up with the windlasses and let some water push us out.” – ‘Lift a paddle’ and get a ‘flush’.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"6\"“I’ll open the engine compartment and take the lid off the weedhatch, might as well leave it off in case it happens again.” – It’s an ‘engine ‘ole’ and don’t leave the weedhatch open, easiest way there is to sink a boat! Anyway real boats don’t have weedhatches, so just to look ‘trad’, lie on the bank and furtle under the ‘counter’ with the ‘cabin hook’ first.
\n\"7\"
\n\"The<\/a>“Now we seem to have collided with the side of the canal.” – We’ve ‘stemmed up’ (say it quietly).<\/p>\n

\"8\"\u00a0“You stand on the roof and push off with that long pole.” – Its a ‘shaft’ and good advice is to push from the bank so there’s less chance of taking\u00a0a headlong dive.<\/p>\n

\"9\"“Ask the guy driving that other boat if you can pull us off here.” – Ask the ‘steerer’ to give us a ‘snatch’ (Honestly!).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"10\" “I’m whacked, looks like a good place to moor up opposite that wide bit.” –\u00a0Sorry but you don’t moor up, you ‘tie’, and\u00a0the wide bit\u00a0may be a ‘winding hole’ so you could upset some real boaters who need space to turn! It can’t be that far to the next pub!<\/p>\n

Plus here’s a few\u00a0words and phrases you can throw around in the pub to enhance your\u00a0hairy boater\u00a0cred<\/strong> …. josher, little northwich, pigeon box, cratch, bolinder, JP2, hot bulb, speed wheel, breasted up, the welsh. the curly whirly, strapping post.<\/em>.. but never never never say out loud …. bowthruster<\/strong><\/em>!<\/p>\n

Any more Canal Speak to help us all sound more like hairy boaters?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s 10 things\u00a0NOT to shout on your canal holiday if you want people to think you are a real hairy<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":595,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[705,1146],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-512","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-holiday-top-10s","category-features"],"acf":[],"geo":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/512","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=512"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/512\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4509,"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/512\/revisions\/4509"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/595"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=512"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=512"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.canaljunction.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=512"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}